Life – A journey not a destination

Many people believe life should go something like this: born, school, college, uni, job, house, marriage, better job, kids, grandchildren, retire, die. And all the while becoming happier and happier :) Many of us start to notice however that someone told us a lie! Even if we live life in this linear fashion trying to get to our final destination of happiness and success we often find it does not come... At least if we go about life full of expectation and hope about what we will do and achieve in our lifetime.

I have been thinking lately about life. Mine seems to have changed a lot especially over the past few months. But actually what's changed the most is my perception of life and my expectations in that now I don't have as many. I have started this beautiful journey of letting go of wanting more or believing I have to get to some magical destination in life. This allows me to enjoy the journey and each moment :) I am currently living in a place of gratitude for everything that I have been given. That may sound cheesy but its a beautiful place to hang out. What would life be like if you were only ever grateful for what you were experiencing. And actually my life has been somewhat turbulent over the last 6 months! But I'm grateful for it all.

Something that helped nudge me into this turbulence is a course I went on a few months ago called anatomy in motion. The idea or philosophy behind it being that to experience centre (peace/ balance) in one's life you need to know the extremes. For example if you never knew sadness, how would you know happiness? Experiencing extremes of both allows you to find the balance.. which to me is neither happiness or sadness :) The course teaches mainly on a physical level. So if you were trying to improve a posture such as rounded shoulders, increased lumbar curve, pronated feet... you would get each joint to experience both extremes of concentric and eccentric movement, moving outside of the current known movement patterns (or outside of the comfort zone), resulting in a new centre for the muscles/ joints. What I didn't expect was that this would impact many levels of my heart, mind and soul. I found a new centre and I'm going to call it the 'light zone.' I began to experience feelings of inspiration, creativity, strength and LOVE. With no one in particular just everyone and everything.

I wanted to stay in this place and I suppose that it became my new comfort zone. When something becomes familiar in life we start to feel safe. But as humans we must keep moving and going with the flow. Often what stops our flow is a part of us that doesn't want us to go into the unfamiliar. We have been taught and conditioned about how life should be. So to follow a different path, your gut or instincts can be scary. Fear can set in. That little voice in the background 'you are not good enough', 'you don't know enough,' 'you're too fat,' 'you are nothing special.' Things that when you say them out loud sound ludicrous but they are there in all of us blocking our potential. What dis-empowers these voices is becoming aware that they are there. Awareness is so powerful and is the key to living a full and satisfying life. I was aware for a while of this background of dissatisfaction in my life. I felt quite 'depressed' for a while. And very much in and out and around the light zone. Certain things began to change in my life. My desire to meditate decreased, I started doing more x-fit and practising less yoga, I changed my diet. I started to become confused by all that I had learnt on the body, nutrition and wondered where I was heading. But I was OK. I know something that changes everything. A great teacher showed me that you are always exactly where you are meant to be. It could not be any other way. So I had to be experiencing this.

In the midst of these ups, downs and skatings around the light zone I was on a 5 day course with one of my favourite yoga teachers and something he said slapped me across the face, knocked me over and screamed wake up. Get real. You know how to feel satisfied and whole. It may not sound like anything profound but he said 'if you are not doing your yoga practise then what are you doing with your life'.

This struck me because I knew that this was true. That for me my spiritual practise is what allows me to experience awareness, love and gratitude whatever is happening in my life, and that means everything to me. A year ago I set some intentions that I hold closely to my heart.

1. I meditate every morning in my beautiful flat
2. I have created a unique and playful movement therapy, yoga and personal training business, it is a success

About 18 months ago I spent a year meditating every morning. Most of the time having to get up at 4am as I start work at 6.30am most mornings. I felt compelled to do it and I don't know why but I would get up no matter what. Since then I feel as though I am being guided and supported by something much bigger than me. When I don't practise I don't feel it as much. My life changes quite subtlety and eventually massively. So I'm grateful for being able to see the pain and dissatisfaction of not doing my practise... It has helped to inspire me even more. Now I combine meditation, anatomy in motion, yoga asana and pranyama into my daily practise. This allows me to let go of control and go with the magical flow of life. Experiencing whatever it is I need to be experiencing, allowing others to be doing the same and being wherever I am meant to be and knowing it's OK.

xxx