The most amazing relationship of your life!

There is a lady I know. She lives in a mansion. With chandeliers, beautiful furnishings and she drives a Ferrari. She takes great pride in her surroundings and wow so would I if I owned a beautiful place like this, it is incredible! I really like her too because she is so kind, loves animals and is always very sweet to me. However, last time I was with her I felt sad. Her body is in pain. She said she hasn't been sleeping because she is worried about choosing the right fabrics and getting the decorating right. She started smoking again after the break up of her marriage and she has had a cough for over a year. Now she has an awesome boyfriend and everything externally in her life is great.. House, car, money, boyfriend all amazing. But this sadness I feel sometimes when I am around her.. I think it's deep inside her body, mind and soul and perhaps I'm feeling some sadness of my own too as we tend to reflect people in our lives. I talk to her about meditation, yoga, being a woman - expectations that are put on us to look a certain way, getting help with her pain and she listens, she's interested but there is some blockage to her helping herself.

She is REALLY beautiful and it makes me sad when she points to body parts she hates. It's funny because this happens to me sometimes. I start obsessing over a body part, for example belly. All I can think about is my belly and how much I want it to change. I notice my obsessive thinking and wonder if what I'm thinking is true. Because yesterday I was ok about my belly and all of a sudden I have a problem?! I've always liked the idea of looking at the bigger picture in life, not parts so in this case I go to the whole body. Perhaps I take a picture or really look/ touch investigate until this deluded state of mind disappears. I have come to a final conclusion.. I am definitely beautiful regardless of my belly :) Oh and the picture on this blog is one I took when my mind was telling me my spots are soo bad. My face is hideous. I took this picture and was like wow my mind is distorting the way I see myself!!!

Back to my lovely friend. What I really wish for her and the many, many others I know who judge and desperately try to change parts of themselves.. What I wish is that every day they, me, you would remind ourselves that the young, innocent, beautiful child that was once us still exists in us. It needs love and nourishment and it needs to know that you love it unconditionally. Feel the pain, hurt and suffering you have been through and don't give yourself such a hard time for marks, scars or fat which is not bad or wrong to the contrary these are marks of strength, resilience and marks of beauty and life experience. Look in the mirror.. What if the person staring back at you right now was your child or someone you loved deeply. You can see pain and hurt in their eyes. How would you talk to them now. Would you say yuk look at that fat on your belly or would you take them in your arms, look deep into their eyes and tell them whatever they have been through is ok. You still love them. Wouldn't you see their beauty always. Is it possible to love and accept yourself in this way? And that acceptance of yourself as you are right now, for whatever you're feeling is where magic happens. I have worked in the health and fitness field for over 13 years. I have done every kind of work out. Every kind of diet. Been on all the supplements and of course yes they are helpful... BUT the biggest changes that have happened to my body, to my mind, energy, pain, skin have taken place from loving myself unconditionally. From having a relationship with myself. Start this kind of relationship with yourself right now :)

It seems so much easier for us to love outside ourselves.. partners, children, animals, objects. I would like to share a powerful exercise which is all about connecing with yourself :)...


Eye gazing
Look into your eyes with a mirror. (for deeper connection.. focus on the left eye if you are right handed, right eye If you are left handed).  Allow the mind to relax. Gaze at your eyes in the mirror and allow yourself to get more and more comfortable looking into your own eyes. After a few minutes you may notice that your surroundings will become more blurred with time and eventually you may see just your eyes and nothing else. This is pretty much all there is to the process. You can allow this to go for as long as you want but generally the longer you go the better the experience. You may not notice too much after just a few minutes so you may want to try things for at least 5 – 10 minutes. It can be nice to combine eye gazing with self conversation. What do you want to say to yourself? What do you love about yourself?

How to start a relationship with yourself.
Take yourself for a massage, a walk, allow your body to move freely to a great song, offer yourself a salt bath to soothe aching muscles, tell yourself you deserve to feel great, forgive yourself for saying mean things about yourself or comparing yourself to others, remind yourself of your uniqueness - love your individuality, be thankful we come in different shapes and sizes, remember all the times you were kind, loved and shared your beautiful energy, celebrate your body in anyway you can! Celebrate that you are alive and have the opportunity to experience life through this body. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. You have always been beautiful. You always will be. Accept it :) xxx

'Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose. You are the only answer to the problems of your life. You are the only solution'